Just another day?

So, I turned 25 today. Hit a quarter century in Life!! For some reason, i was feeling wierd today. A sense that its been 25 long years. Thats a LOT of time spent, since i opened my eyes to the world, and the world to me. It kind of changes the way one looks at things, dont you think? What is scary is , in such a long span of time, i have done very less things im proud of. The only respite is that i have not troubled anyone intentionally, and hopefully not given pain to anyone un intentionally. Come to think of it, my family is pretty proud of the way i have grown up to be. I have been a good friend (hopefully) and have got pretty tight friendships scattered around. Hell, even 'I' am just 'quite' ok with the life i have at the moment. BUT, I am not particulary proud of all these things. I dont know why. Its probably because everyone does the same things in life. Millions of people around the globe have good education from so called reputable institutes, have a job they really enjoy doing, get payed so that they can buy all the things that can be bought to make them supposedly "happy". Its the same story everywhere. I am doing my duties, paying taxes, voting intelligently (whenever i can) and in general, minding my own ordinary life. Living, and letting live, is possibly the best thing one can "atleast" do! I dont want to do anything very different. I dont yearn to stand apart from the crowd. In fact, im better off being camoflaged in the crowd. But I really want to do something which i can think of years later and say, "yes, that was one moment i was really happy that i came into this world. I made a difference, albeit a minuscle one".
In the next 5 years, i want to definitely do some things. Whether they are feasible or not, thats not my concern, but i want to do them. Most of them are selfish, full of indulgence. But then, arent all acts selfish?

my 5 year plan:

1) Sponser a child's education. I dont want to sound like a "social worker". But the intention is not social work. I want to do this for my own selfish reason. So that "I" can feel better. This is something i really really wanted to do sometime in life, even before i had started earning.
I believe education does great things. Not necessarily, but then most often than not! And It really sucks when you really want to do something and you dont have the means to do that. I guess I will probably respect myself more if i ever get to do this. If not in next five years, then atleast sometime.

2) Get married. Yes, I know, it will be like destroying someone's life, but then, this is the sadistic streak of me, you can say. Im not a very strong believer in the institution of marriage, but i just want to get that one thing out of the way!

3) See Europe. Not the hot spots like paris n all, but those quaint little hidden towns scattered all across europe.

4) Run a marathon. or atleast the half marathon. Now this is almost impossible, coz im not a very good runner, but probably thats the main reason i want to do it. (and yes, I am working towards this goal :D)

5) Become a pretty good photographer. Seriously. I probably have a long long way to go, but i guess in 5 years it is quite managable! Eventually, I would love to become a professional level one, but then it is said it takes 20-25 years to reach the place where the best photographers are.
erm...check out my photostream at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/56277327@N00/
aah! how i love to brag !

6) Learn pottery. I love pots, of all kinds. I was in love with them ever since i remember. And i am superbly fascinated by the potters' wheel. How something so basic and crude make something SO beautiful! It amazes me. Another thing I always wanted to do but never found the opportunity, time (and any other excuse) to learn it.

If my blog has survived the next 5 years, Il probably be able to see how much I actually accomplished. I hope I am able to tick off atleast one of these things. Seriously.
As an afterthought, I also hope the quarter life crisis doesnt strick me. :|

Bajaj Spirit

So my travel companion of almost 6 years was sold yesterday. Became paraya dhan. Someone else's amanat. Just like that. I have got so many things to say about my ex Spirit. But I have got like 5 minutes before i have to rush.... erm, to the bathroom :D

Anyways, a short list of a few observations when I first heard it was sold:
->> Its definitely going to leave a void. If not in my heart, then definitely in our garage.

->> We get so very attached to stupid material things. I mean its just a bike for chirssake!! True, had some great memories, some great rides, some very great accidents on that bike. Then treasure those memories, those rides, those accidents. But why the bike? Do we most of the times associate memories and feelings with material things, and thats why we miss the material things?

->>That Bajaj Spirit had kind of become my trademark in COEP. Neha comes with Bajaj spirit. and vice versa.

->>It rattled a LOT. I guess all spirits do , thats why probably they stopped producing them, but mine was the king of rattlers. No need for honking horns, the rattling was more than sufficient.

->>My Spirit survived 2 major accidents. What am I supposed to do if that idiot rickshaw driver takes a left turn in the rain without the indicator, and I cant pull the brakes quickly enough because im worried I will be late for reaching the boat club.

->>I have cursed my gadi a lot in the span of 6 years. I have also thanked my gadi for taking me to exams, parties, college, classes on time.

->>Im not feeling even a little bit upset on my gadi being sold.

But I have learnt not to get attached to things (well, atleast to some extent). To treasure the moments, and not the 'things'. To treasure the people, the memories, the parties, the gettogethers, the tears, the laughter and not the walls of the house. To treasure the rides and not the bike. To treasure the work, and not the company itself, treasure the knowledge acquired, the friendships developed, the times spent and not the institution itself. It is never easy to do it, but to some extent it can be done.Things and life become so much easier like this. Dont you think so?

I want to...

Go away somewhere...alone, or maybe with friends. I need a vacation. Granted i came back from a trip to india two months ago, but that doesnt exactly count as vacation does it? Most of the time you are either jet lagged, or running around meeting relatives and doing your social duties. So you are left with hardly any time for yourself. To unwind. Actually, India trips are always so hectic, that i seriously feel the need of vacation after a trip to homeland. Anywys, past two months were super hectic at work, and will continue to be for the next 5 months :| . Not that im complaining, (or i am, just a little bit :)) but i seriously need to unwind. Weekends are spent haunting the office, evenings are very short which are either spent in cooking (who am i kidding) or going to the gym (again, who am i kidding). So, in short, i want to go and get my adrenaline pumping, once again. I want to do something crazy. I havent done anything crazy in a long while. I want to sit and admire nature, read books, eat good food, have conversations other than how badly written my code is or how that hardware is acting weird when i run my stuff. uff. im tired. Its fun, I get paid to write bad code and crash the system, but nevertheless, im tired. I am tired to be the responsible good girl. Seriously. I want to go away for few days, have someone take care of me. Pamper me, spoil me.Pay my bills, take my car to the garage and cook for me.
And people say I dont have any dreams in life!

isnt it better?

Isnt it better 'sometimes', not to vent out your opinion, not to cry, not to yell, not to argue, not to discuss, not to make the other person understand, but just keep quite, cut yourself from the situation, from the world, from everyone and just hope everything will fall into place?

rant.......

urgh!! have u ever faced a catch 22 situation? the lady or the tiger kind of situation?
why cant we get the best of everything? why do we have to make difficult choices in life? is everything so simple as i thought it would be? why do we feel a particular thing is over rated once we have it? is it really worth it? but is not having it really worth it, too? im confused, scared, unsure about it. about everything!

I, Me, Myself

“Every form of happiness is private. Our greatest memories are personal, self-motivated, not to be touched. The things which are sacred or precious to us are the things we withdraw from promiscuous sharing.”

For no reason, i suddenly remembered this quote few days back. Its from Fountainhead.
There is such a fine line between happiness and enjoyment. And most often than not, we tend to mistake enjoyment for happiness.
I will enjoy when im yelling my throat out at the amusement park, but i will be happy when im alone, all by myself thinking about nothing.
I will enjoy when im dancing and yelling crazily in the rain with my friends, but just watching the rain pelt outside from my window will truly make me happy.
i will enjoy a movie in the movie hall, but i will be happy when i listen to Kishore da songs in the dark.
i will enjoy an animated conversation over a cup of coffee with friends, I will be happy contemplating on a lazy sunday morning.
I enjoyed the crowded, magnificent and huge sight of Niagara, but the deserted, placid and almost anonymous lake on our way back truly made me happy.
Proclaiming your love to the world is one thing but treasuring those moments and things which only the both of us know, i altogether different thing.
Long distance calls to friends and late night gtalk sessions are something i enjoy, But the thought of my friends when something reminds me of them makes me happy.
I enjoy coming to office everyday to hear the clatter and laughs of my group mates; but spending a quite weekend working in the deserted and heavily quite office is something i enjoy. (just to set the record straight, i DO NOT enjoy working weekends :| )
I am not saying these things 'make' me happy necessarily, its just that in these situations im with myself. On my own. And thats the reason why im more peaceful in these situations. That means, even if im alone, listening to Himesh bhai's songs, i will be happy. (only thoughts like the purpose of the perenially present cap on his head, and a few words cursing him might crop in my mind in the process).
Im not quite sure whether i have put forth the point correctly or not, but this is one quote i vehemently agree with.

a video

I generally dont like to post political views and stuff on my blog, but then I couldnt resist posting this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJ3OMo_r_Gs

One of my friend forwarded it to me, and initially i thought it was some kind of a satirical piece. But then this was in all seriousness!!! God bless the human race!