Clink!

And, a year goes by!! One year, without us getting down at each others' throats, without me threatening to leave the house (yea, I am quite the drama queen at home), or without you threatening to throw me out of the house, we made it. :) . Though, technically we stayed together just a couple of months during this one year, it was all awesome-ness, I shall admit. And though I used to love my single life, and staying alone and all the erratic randomness of it all, I just cant imagine what I would do without you around me.
And because I am superstitious about putting too much of "us" out to the world, or maybe I don't have anything else to say, I shall just say one thing..
Cheers! to 'us'. May the 'us' element never die :)

A new song on my lips!

I have always thought that music strikes a chord in your heart some time or the other. Not all music/songs do that, but a particular song arouses a particular emotion in you, which you don't even know you have, in the first place. Now, im not a music expert but there are a very few songs which i can never get tired of listening. And when I hear those few songs, each and every time I get cut off from the real world. I am transported somewhere else. Those are the few songs that strike a chord in me, and I feel the same emotion rise in me for each particular song. Now that I think of it, I can think of about 4-5 songs that have that kind of effect on me. The effect that puts me in a trance.

The most recent song that I have loved in this sense in the song 'saiba' from Guzaarish. I know people around me are going ga ga over 'tera zikr' (which i loved too), but for me, 'saiba' struck the chord. It is just so poignant, full of love and longing ( a strange kind of longing ) and has a very subtle sadness to it. I have been listening to Guzaarish songs in a loop for the past 2 days, and I keep going back to this one song. So yesterday night, I was lying alone in my apartment, lights shut, pin drop silence around me and was listening to this song. And I was surprised to find that at the end of it I had tears in my eyes. I know this sounds a bit stupid, because the song is not really a sad song, per se. (plus, who cries on listening to songs!!) But I had tears without me even realizing i was silently weeping. I don't remember at what time i had started weeping, but when the song ended it was like I was jolted back from a dream. I had to pinch myself to make sure i was not actually dreaming. That was some experience. I am still trying to find out the exact emotion in me that was stirred by this song. But I am not able to put my finger on the exact emotion.

I have been humming this song non-stop for the past 2 days and cant get it out of my mind :-)

Do you have any particular song that makes you cry? (or emotional at least?)

its just an idea!

Have you ever had that feeling, when you get a brainwave, an idea, a solution to a hard problem, and that feeling kind of grows synergically inside you? I love it when that happens to me. Once an idea is planted in the mind, it is awesome how it grows. (does it remind you of inception?)
The husband and I were discussing something over the phone the other day, and what started out as a fun discussion, soon turned out to be the start of an 'idea'. We realised that 'this' can be done, and one thing led to another and the idea soon turned into and orgy of discussion which which both of us could not stop talking about. That feeling of ecstasy (is it the right word for this?) is something to be felt and i cannot quite describe. Something a small child would feel, when it sees a toy and squeals and runs towards it. Or something Kalmadi would feel when he signs a contract for yet another batch of imported toilet paper. It is more than just joy, this feeling. Whether that idea take shape of any actions, and whether it gets utilised or not, is another thing, but the very fact that you have got this idea is exhilarating.

Cheers!!

I sometimes feel im still ‘mind-locked’ in the last year…my “MS-year” if I can say that….i get these sudden nostalgic attacks these days, periods when I miss my RPI friends and troy in particular like anything….and then during these bursts il randomly call/ping my friends(not that I don’t keep in touch with them otherwise..!!)…
This blog is an outcome of one of such nostalgic attacks…..i often feel one year is such a short span of time for someone to make a difference to your life…to make a place in your heart….but now I feel this is so not true!!...in my own small way I want to tell all my friends at RPI that I love them loads!!!
It seems just yesterday when I had first stepped in troy…me, along with Arpita and Mallika…we, like the three musketeers, used to roam around looking for accommodation….i still remember how we had lost our way from the academy hall to the union…(its just few blocks away!!), and that too when we had a detailed map of the campus with us…..i guess those were the first moments when the seeds of friendship were sown….had a great time with these two girls….Arpita, who I must admit, is one of the few people I really feel close to, she has shown traits of a ‘true friend’ in two of the occasions, which I wont bother listing here (Arpi if ud ever read this, im sure ud have no idea which two instances im talking about!!)…but yes, I love her for all the support…Mallika too, a total fun person…total ‘chudail’…hehe…
These were my earliest aquaintances during the time I came here…next to meet was Sampad, who had come to our apartment with sandeepan, totally jet lagged….its weird actually….I have never “talked” on a one-to-one basis with him that much…it always used to be in the midst of “the gang”…but sampad is one of the few persons I respect a lot at RPI (sampad is gonna boo me if he comes across my blog…:D)…reason I like him a lot is because he is a total joker…u just cant keep a straight face in his presence…but what is equally true that he has a very serious and matured interior….he is one wise fellow around….
Next I had met was anish and hate (ameya) in the VCC…again, total fun…especially Hate, who is a total teddy bear kinda person…very adorable….n kinda wise too. I remember I had thought Sandeep to be a maharashtrian and had started talking to him in marathi…I mustve talked to him for like 5 complete minutes before Hate had shouted from behind that he was not understanding a word of what I was saying!!! Sandeep, another fellow, who made my job in the library quite entertaining.
But all these ‘characters’ among many more were the ones responsible for making my stay in RPI what it was….this was the ‘gang’…atleast the original version of the gang!!
I love them all…muuuuaaaaahhhh>:D<
Then there are some characters, the not-so-gang, who probably made a bigger impact in my life in that one year….there is Suman, one of the most ‘unique’ persons…actually unique does not do justice to him…dunno, all I can say is there can never be a second Suman….the first person to pep me up when I used to be down…you rock dude!
Rajat, my pseudo-professor at RPI…seriously, I think I would have flunked subjects like DSP, stoch and VLSI if it was not for his explanations of my doubts in these subjects…one total genius fellow and an awesome friend…these are the two guys I respect ‘the most’.
And yes, though he made a late entry during that one year, Sudip too, proved to be a total fun person….a great friend to talk to, go on walks with, fight with and climb trees with!! Frear park and my stay in house 2201 would have been different without him…:)

i was truly happy this moment!!

For no particular reason I remembered a state of mind I was in few months back, and thought I should pen it down.
The feeling, or rather the state of mind im talking about is being happy for no particular reason….this happens rarely in my case….il be happy if I do something good, good work, read a good book, have a good conversation with someone or something similar….(that doesn’t mean im unhappy the remaining times, il just be kind of neutral)…..
Well, being a rare occurance, I remember that feeling with entire clarity….
The venue: 15th street in Troy….well this particular day I was as usual walking back from my lab after a moderate kind of accomplishment in my ‘research’….my friend who generally used to accompany me back home had decided to stay back longer in his lab…so It was just me, walking alone down the 15th street….i passed the student union on the 15th street, where some student band was practicing somewhere….an OK kind of music they were playing, and the notes were just drifting delicately with the breeze….the air was kinda pleasantly warm, with a soft breeze blowing against my face….and all of a sudden I got this rush in me…in my mind my heart…and I got this sudden bounce in my stride…I was surprised…why was I feeling suddenly so happy….without any reason….apparently…..I felt awesomely light headed…a feeling a child would get perhaps when it sees something for the first time, gets fascinated with it, and has no means or nobody to express its fascination with….the kind of excitement when the excitement has no outlet, and it just kind of grows synergically inside you…..i got something similar kind of feeling…only difference was I had seen/witnessed nothing fascinating at that moment….

I guess this kind of happiness, independent of anything/ anyone is the one that is actually known as ‘happiness’…doesn’t it just come to us?...does one really ‘need’ to pursue happ’y’ness?? Should one run behind things searching for happiness in them? Why cant we be happy just for the heck of it? …yes the happiness which can neither be created nor destroyed….the one which is within us…it just has to (re)-surface, but without the help of anything or anybody…

homecoming.....

its one of the rarest moments of happiness in a grad student's life...:D
But today more than happiness i felt something more profound....the reason: i booked my ticket home....and from the time i booked it, the entire time when i was walking back home, i had this huge stupid grin on my face....i just couldnt help smiling with joy!!:)
going home after exactly one year....finishing my MS is something yet to be digested...this one year of MS has just swished by...if i look back...everything seems a blur now....but thats a different issue!!:D....at this moment i cant help but daydream about my being in india....getting to meet my dear mom and my sister after what seems like eons....getting to sleep in my own room(though i kinda have fallen in love with my room here too!!), all those familiar places, familiar faces...meeting friends, chatting aimlessly and for hours at our common hangouts...(though i doubt if that would be possible as all of them have gone to different places!).....
i dont know, what feeling is this...its this pure joy of going back, but still, at the back of my mind, i have this small voice saying how much im gonna miss this place...miss the university, miss my lab, miss all my friends here, miss the calm of the evening which i had come to love about troy, miss taking midnight walks on the streets with friends, miss eating at Pizza Bella(yes, i will miss that, but NOT the pizza for sure!!!) AND miss Frear Park and the associated memories:)....i wonder sometimes that happiness can never be quite 'absolute'...with it, it always brings some kind of pain.....
But yes, the thought of meeting my family again is helping me get through this week before i fly home!!!
it sure is a 'homecoming' from 'home'....