Madat kaun karne ko bol raha hai..(who is asking for your help), but is it SO hard to even wish well for someone??!!
Sorry if i sound suicidal or depressed or frustrated with life and people, because im not. I am leading a perfectly content, happy life (touchwood).
But the question posed in the first line, strikes me. it strikes me time and again. It strikes me when im at my happiest self. Ok, even i admit im insane and the authorities of the Yerwada hospital are on the lookout for me, but seriously, Why cant people wish well for others? Does it take a lot of your time and energy? or you have limited buffer to fill good wishes for. Even if this is true, why cant one just not wish at all? yaar atleast kisika bura mat chaho (atleast dont wish bad for anyone). I know, someones' wishing is not going to change anything for the person for who (or is it whom, according to Ross? ;)) it is wished. But still...
30 September 2008
19 September 2008
19 truths and a lie
I am not particularly feeling like working today...the morning 2 hours were spent on reading what McCain and Obama would do to stabilise the American economy. One thing is true for politicians anywhere...they simply do not understand Prevention is better than cure. Ok, so early morning went on the wall Stree Journal, followed by at least an hour of minimizing Minesweeper windows pretending to work. and now, im running out of things to pass time doing, So thought about coming and paying homage (my blog is dead according to me) to my blogpage. And as i said, i absolutely dont feel like working today. 2-3 days back my manager assigned me to a new project which would keep me busy for atleat 6 months, he said. The first thought that came to my mind was, Chalo ab 6 months ke liye toh job pakka hai. I feel like a total loser when i say this, but i guess every person working in america is i guess thinking on the same lines. However competant one might be, when such economic crisis strikes, and people start getting layed off left and right, circumstances force you to think along these lines. So, being just couple of days old on this new project, im in the process of setting up a background to start the actual process of making the thing work. So, the work load being managable for atleast this week, i hereby allow myself to blog from office.
Coming back to the title of this post:
1) It scares me to talk about myself in public. and i am very scared right now :-/
2) I like being with friends and people in general, but for some part of the day, i find it extremely necessary to be alone, by myself. its not something i like, but a necessecity. I feel suffocated if im not left alone for some time.
3) i am not ambitious. i would hate to turn into a workaholic. It scares me sometimes when im so engrossed in work that i forget my meals and forget to call home. Sure, i enjoy doing what i do, but i would hate to see it overpower the rest of my life. my outside-work life.
4) I can very easily laugh at myself. And it doesnt bother if people laugh at me. I dont know why this is the case, but something that i very much believe in is that as human beings, we all suck to some extent (and i suck to a great extent). It is quite senseless to laugh at others and look down upon others because more often than not, someone else is laughing at you and looking down upon you.
5) i had thought and would very firmly believe that i would never fall in love. rather, it would be absolutely impossible to like someone, care for someone, love someone, the way i love my family. This was proved wrong. in fact, i dont have any 'beliefs' now i feel, whatever i think, feel, believe in, is subject to change. I guess it is true for all people, but just that we dont realise it until it changes.
6) 2 years in the US, and iv still not turned into an alcoholic (im a good girl ;)), i still hate coke and anything that has pressurized Co2 in it, still love chocolates and still havent got the typical amrican accent. I was shocked at myself when my friend at work pointed out that ive started saying "khamaynds" instead of "kammands" (commands). I am seriously and conciously saying kammands now.
7) I hate Soft toys. Its not exactly hate, but just that i dont like them so much. the only ones i have are gifts from friends, and i like them because they are gifts.
8) im completely crazy about my DSLR and photography is something im seriously "studying" these days. The best way to learn photography is by observing others' photographs and using your imagination to try out different things with your camera.
9) i love travelling. well not the travel that is usually talked about- flights, 4-5 star hotels, comfort. No. The best way to get pleasure out of travelling is do be as crude and pre-historic as possible. going into the wilderness and exploring unexplored places, thats where nature is to be witnessed. I was totally shocked to see what we humans have done to the Niagara Falls.
10) i want to get lost once. Not like taking a wrong turn or a wrong exit. But, i want to get lost in the woods. That is half the part of one of my fantasies. the rest part (what i want to do after getting lost), well let me keep it to myself. I dont want to shock the few readers who read my blog.
11) i have a fetish for good smelling things. I dont like perfumes and scented candles and they give me headaches. I like the more lingering, natural fragraces and not overpowering ones. I dont like it when my clothes smell of garlic due to the heavy indian cooking. I make a great deal of fuss, which infuriated my mom to a great extent while she was here, to ventilate my small Studio and drive all the food-smell out.
12) I absolutely hate shopping for clothes. I will give credit to my mom for taking me clothes-shopping with her-it is responsible in making me the very patient person that i have turned out to be. In fact, i hate shopping for anything. Be it clothes, shoes, bags. The shopping bug does bite me for like once every year, and i will shop like crazy for a day, but then thats it.
13) I like to cook very complicated dishes. I wont cook for the whole week, but cook super-duper recipe, a 'shaahi' dish on weekend. Last weekend i made malai kofta from an online recipe, and it exhausted me so much that i didnt cook for the next 2 weeks. FYI, the dish had turned out to be 'amazing' in my words, 'not-bad' in my mom's words, 'haha' in my sister's words who is in india and didnt taste it. And later on 'really!??' in S's words, who does not believe i cook.
14) i sleep a LOT. and i like sleeping.
15) i can eat chocolates for lunch and dinner. As the main course i mean. I have often done that. You will understand if you are a vegetarian at a typical american barbeque picnic, where you have nothing but burgers (which are by default chicken, unless specified otherwise) and the veggie burgers are edible only for the first time. So after a year of grad life, and surviving many such picnics, iv turned into a choccie (like veggie/non-veggie) :-/
It is this habit that is responsible in increasing my perimeter, area and volume.
16) I have got a lot of inertia. Not because of my size, as you might think. Or maybe because of that. It takes a LOT of motivation, enthusiasm or any other trigger available to get me started on any new thing or stop me from doing a particular thing i have been doing, be it going to the gym, preparing a meal, getting out of bed, going for work and even stopping my work and coming back home.
17) i love driving. i prefer being the driver rather than sitting behind and enjoying the scenery.
18) I am not a confused person as my friends think i am. Back in college i was known for being always confused about stuffs and putting these wierd expressions on my face when in doubt. But to all those people i un-intentionally fooled, I am pretty much clear in my mind about most of the things. How that gets portrayed as confusion is still a mystery to me.
19) The only thing till now, that has given me the 'adrenaline rush' were the rides at 6-flags (its this awesome awesome chain of amusement parks with these awesome awesome rides. Not the merry go round type rides in Appu ghar where people feel dizzy and puke after a round of ride, but the super duper crazy roller coasters which go in all possible axes, all possible directions at high speeds). That is one place im surely going to miss if i leave US. It is one of my crazy dream to go and visit all the 6-flags in the US. For records, people who are fond of these crazy rides, you should make it a point and go visit the six flags at LA. The biggest of all 6-flags. That was one of the most exciting days of my life, i must say!
20) there is a lie in one of these 20 point i made about myself. Can you guess which?
Phew.
The longest post till date?
signing off- neha
Coming back to the title of this post:
1) It scares me to talk about myself in public. and i am very scared right now :-/
2) I like being with friends and people in general, but for some part of the day, i find it extremely necessary to be alone, by myself. its not something i like, but a necessecity. I feel suffocated if im not left alone for some time.
3) i am not ambitious. i would hate to turn into a workaholic. It scares me sometimes when im so engrossed in work that i forget my meals and forget to call home. Sure, i enjoy doing what i do, but i would hate to see it overpower the rest of my life. my outside-work life.
4) I can very easily laugh at myself. And it doesnt bother if people laugh at me. I dont know why this is the case, but something that i very much believe in is that as human beings, we all suck to some extent (and i suck to a great extent). It is quite senseless to laugh at others and look down upon others because more often than not, someone else is laughing at you and looking down upon you.
5) i had thought and would very firmly believe that i would never fall in love. rather, it would be absolutely impossible to like someone, care for someone, love someone, the way i love my family. This was proved wrong. in fact, i dont have any 'beliefs' now i feel, whatever i think, feel, believe in, is subject to change. I guess it is true for all people, but just that we dont realise it until it changes.
6) 2 years in the US, and iv still not turned into an alcoholic (im a good girl ;)), i still hate coke and anything that has pressurized Co2 in it, still love chocolates and still havent got the typical amrican accent. I was shocked at myself when my friend at work pointed out that ive started saying "khamaynds" instead of "kammands" (commands). I am seriously and conciously saying kammands now.
7) I hate Soft toys. Its not exactly hate, but just that i dont like them so much. the only ones i have are gifts from friends, and i like them because they are gifts.
8) im completely crazy about my DSLR and photography is something im seriously "studying" these days. The best way to learn photography is by observing others' photographs and using your imagination to try out different things with your camera.
9) i love travelling. well not the travel that is usually talked about- flights, 4-5 star hotels, comfort. No. The best way to get pleasure out of travelling is do be as crude and pre-historic as possible. going into the wilderness and exploring unexplored places, thats where nature is to be witnessed. I was totally shocked to see what we humans have done to the Niagara Falls.
10) i want to get lost once. Not like taking a wrong turn or a wrong exit. But, i want to get lost in the woods. That is half the part of one of my fantasies. the rest part (what i want to do after getting lost), well let me keep it to myself. I dont want to shock the few readers who read my blog.
11) i have a fetish for good smelling things. I dont like perfumes and scented candles and they give me headaches. I like the more lingering, natural fragraces and not overpowering ones. I dont like it when my clothes smell of garlic due to the heavy indian cooking. I make a great deal of fuss, which infuriated my mom to a great extent while she was here, to ventilate my small Studio and drive all the food-smell out.
12) I absolutely hate shopping for clothes. I will give credit to my mom for taking me clothes-shopping with her-it is responsible in making me the very patient person that i have turned out to be. In fact, i hate shopping for anything. Be it clothes, shoes, bags. The shopping bug does bite me for like once every year, and i will shop like crazy for a day, but then thats it.
13) I like to cook very complicated dishes. I wont cook for the whole week, but cook super-duper recipe, a 'shaahi' dish on weekend. Last weekend i made malai kofta from an online recipe, and it exhausted me so much that i didnt cook for the next 2 weeks. FYI, the dish had turned out to be 'amazing' in my words, 'not-bad' in my mom's words, 'haha' in my sister's words who is in india and didnt taste it. And later on 'really!??' in S's words, who does not believe i cook.
14) i sleep a LOT. and i like sleeping.
15) i can eat chocolates for lunch and dinner. As the main course i mean. I have often done that. You will understand if you are a vegetarian at a typical american barbeque picnic, where you have nothing but burgers (which are by default chicken, unless specified otherwise) and the veggie burgers are edible only for the first time. So after a year of grad life, and surviving many such picnics, iv turned into a choccie (like veggie/non-veggie) :-/
It is this habit that is responsible in increasing my perimeter, area and volume.
16) I have got a lot of inertia. Not because of my size, as you might think. Or maybe because of that. It takes a LOT of motivation, enthusiasm or any other trigger available to get me started on any new thing or stop me from doing a particular thing i have been doing, be it going to the gym, preparing a meal, getting out of bed, going for work and even stopping my work and coming back home.
17) i love driving. i prefer being the driver rather than sitting behind and enjoying the scenery.
18) I am not a confused person as my friends think i am. Back in college i was known for being always confused about stuffs and putting these wierd expressions on my face when in doubt. But to all those people i un-intentionally fooled, I am pretty much clear in my mind about most of the things. How that gets portrayed as confusion is still a mystery to me.
19) The only thing till now, that has given me the 'adrenaline rush' were the rides at 6-flags (its this awesome awesome chain of amusement parks with these awesome awesome rides. Not the merry go round type rides in Appu ghar where people feel dizzy and puke after a round of ride, but the super duper crazy roller coasters which go in all possible axes, all possible directions at high speeds). That is one place im surely going to miss if i leave US. It is one of my crazy dream to go and visit all the 6-flags in the US. For records, people who are fond of these crazy rides, you should make it a point and go visit the six flags at LA. The biggest of all 6-flags. That was one of the most exciting days of my life, i must say!
20) there is a lie in one of these 20 point i made about myself. Can you guess which?
Phew.
The longest post till date?
signing off- neha
10 September 2008
Obituary...
Acadia cruiser was one hell of a bike. sHe served me well for a short span she was with me. my faithful companion when i used to bike my way 8-9 miles each day to and from office for few weeks. she was my only companion then. She is gone, probably got a new master, but her spirit continues to live..accompanies me, when i drive my car to office now. She had a major role in making me fit, active and enjoy biking. She was also responsible for giving me sore thighs and a sore ass. But, in her i found a relentless spirit, never tiring, never letting the air go off, always rolling.
I wish she is happy wherever she is. But i do wish the person who stole my bike, never enjoys his/her rides. Let Acadia give him/her a hard time whenever he/she rides. Afterall, it was my baby, my love, and no one had the right over it but me.
In fond memory, i owe you a lot.
survived by Her master and companion(neha) and family.
june 4th 2008- sept 2nd.
PS: They call it a "developed" nation...pan actually ikadche lok titkech garib ahet :-/
I wish she is happy wherever she is. But i do wish the person who stole my bike, never enjoys his/her rides. Let Acadia give him/her a hard time whenever he/she rides. Afterall, it was my baby, my love, and no one had the right over it but me.
In fond memory, i owe you a lot.
survived by Her master and companion(neha) and family.
june 4th 2008- sept 2nd.
PS: They call it a "developed" nation...pan actually ikadche lok titkech garib ahet :-/
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