28 September 2009

Change, they say !!

Change. Its easier said than done, isnt it? For me it is.
So, I have been quite happy with the almost uneventful state of my life for the past 2 years. By that I mean, once i got a job i really enjoyed doing, all i had to do was work, come home, read/cook/go out/etc, sleep and wake up to the the same thing all over again. I did not get bored doing it. I was relieved that life was finally what i call a bit stable, to the point of being boring, after the roller coaster ride it had been upto that point. When I came here, in a foreign land to study, I used to think I was doing such a courageous thing, living alone, being away from my family for the first time, taking care of myself, all on my own. But I realised this a few days back, that it was probably the easiest thing I have ever done. Staying alone. No one to take care of except yourself, making decisions that are least affected by other people's opinions or least connected to other people's lives. I didnt have to think twice if I wanted to take up a job in say Alaska. All I had to do was pack my bags and get going.
I do see a LOT of major changes in my life over the span of next 2-3 years, and the thought of these changes were freaking me outover the past few days, still is, to some extent. I am slowly approaching an age at which you are expected to "settle down" in life. You know, get married, start a family, start saving and those kind of grown up things. No, no im not getting married in the near future, for all the people who are at the edge of their seats with curiosity and holding their breath. But also, I cannot deny the fact, that vo din ab door nahi, when I'd be facing all these things. It was just few days back that I realised that it is going to be the hardest thing I'd ever do. It doesnt matter if your life partner is your best friend or a stranger you have met for about few hours. It just doesnt make any difference. It does not make a difference whether you really love that person, accept that person as he is, or someone you have met for a few hours, a few days perhaps before you were to decide whether that person is the one you want to live with the rest of your life. All that matters is there is going to be another person in your life, who will get attached to all your decisions, and the same applies for him too. Its just the way it is. You wouldnt call it a union or a marriage otherwise. Anyways, the thought of having to leave my comfort zone, has been making me restless. Why to take the plunge then, some would say. Thats because I want to, and just not taking the plunge for the fear of change is stupidity. I know worrying about these thing is senseless, because things always turn out the way we had never thought of. But still....

On an entirely different note: hats off to the people who have gotten married. I sincerely feel thats a very brave thing you have done. I mean, welcoming a person to be a part of your own family, thinking of him NOT in terms of perfect/imperfect, right/wrong, but just as someone who is now a part of you family. That takes some effort.

7 comments:

Mansi said...

I had never thought of "Staying alone" from the other angle and thought it actually was courageous...but come to think of it, yeah..it's kinda true...

Mansi said...

i mean, i think it IS one of the easiest things to do.

nightflier said...

I think going against one's own nature/style/habit/way is very courageous..
though to think about it, the way u put it, I think it IS pretty easy to be on your own :)

Rajeev said...

Bapare..faarach dangerous thoughts aahet.Just reading the blog makes me feel scared.

Neha said...

oh, sorry if it scared you!! should put up a more cheerful post the next time!! :)

Ketaki... said...

The funny thing about this post is that, it surprises me how we all think similar in similar situations. :)
I always thought it would be difficult too and I think it also is no matter how prepared you are. The transition can be toll taking and of course independence is always better. Not worrying about anybody else but yourself is easy and convenient.
But having said that, I also have to say that getting married gives you a stability which I have realized over the time. Its a strong feeling of security.

And hey, you do get used to it.. Don't worry.. :)

tanvii.com said...

I think like anything ... Marriage too has its pro and cons. Being on your own is awesome ... but in the long run you always want to share your life/moments/happiness with someone ... but that takes investment of time and patience. And in the long run if the two people are compatible I think it all works out wonderfully. I hope you feel the same way too! :) Good Luck with the moving.