Cheers!!

I sometimes feel im still ‘mind-locked’ in the last year…my “MS-year” if I can say that….i get these sudden nostalgic attacks these days, periods when I miss my RPI friends and troy in particular like anything….and then during these bursts il randomly call/ping my friends(not that I don’t keep in touch with them otherwise..!!)…
This blog is an outcome of one of such nostalgic attacks…..i often feel one year is such a short span of time for someone to make a difference to your life…to make a place in your heart….but now I feel this is so not true!!...in my own small way I want to tell all my friends at RPI that I love them loads!!!
It seems just yesterday when I had first stepped in troy…me, along with Arpita and Mallika…we, like the three musketeers, used to roam around looking for accommodation….i still remember how we had lost our way from the academy hall to the union…(its just few blocks away!!), and that too when we had a detailed map of the campus with us…..i guess those were the first moments when the seeds of friendship were sown….had a great time with these two girls….Arpita, who I must admit, is one of the few people I really feel close to, she has shown traits of a ‘true friend’ in two of the occasions, which I wont bother listing here (Arpi if ud ever read this, im sure ud have no idea which two instances im talking about!!)…but yes, I love her for all the support…Mallika too, a total fun person…total ‘chudail’…hehe…
These were my earliest aquaintances during the time I came here…next to meet was Sampad, who had come to our apartment with sandeepan, totally jet lagged….its weird actually….I have never “talked” on a one-to-one basis with him that much…it always used to be in the midst of “the gang”…but sampad is one of the few persons I respect a lot at RPI (sampad is gonna boo me if he comes across my blog…:D)…reason I like him a lot is because he is a total joker…u just cant keep a straight face in his presence…but what is equally true that he has a very serious and matured interior….he is one wise fellow around….
Next I had met was anish and hate (ameya) in the VCC…again, total fun…especially Hate, who is a total teddy bear kinda person…very adorable….n kinda wise too. I remember I had thought Sandeep to be a maharashtrian and had started talking to him in marathi…I mustve talked to him for like 5 complete minutes before Hate had shouted from behind that he was not understanding a word of what I was saying!!! Sandeep, another fellow, who made my job in the library quite entertaining.
But all these ‘characters’ among many more were the ones responsible for making my stay in RPI what it was….this was the ‘gang’…atleast the original version of the gang!!
I love them all…muuuuaaaaahhhh>:D<
Then there are some characters, the not-so-gang, who probably made a bigger impact in my life in that one year….there is Suman, one of the most ‘unique’ persons…actually unique does not do justice to him…dunno, all I can say is there can never be a second Suman….the first person to pep me up when I used to be down…you rock dude!
Rajat, my pseudo-professor at RPI…seriously, I think I would have flunked subjects like DSP, stoch and VLSI if it was not for his explanations of my doubts in these subjects…one total genius fellow and an awesome friend…these are the two guys I respect ‘the most’.
And yes, though he made a late entry during that one year, Sudip too, proved to be a total fun person….a great friend to talk to, go on walks with, fight with and climb trees with!! Frear park and my stay in house 2201 would have been different without him…:)

i was truly happy this moment!!

For no particular reason I remembered a state of mind I was in few months back, and thought I should pen it down.
The feeling, or rather the state of mind im talking about is being happy for no particular reason….this happens rarely in my case….il be happy if I do something good, good work, read a good book, have a good conversation with someone or something similar….(that doesn’t mean im unhappy the remaining times, il just be kind of neutral)…..
Well, being a rare occurance, I remember that feeling with entire clarity….
The venue: 15th street in Troy….well this particular day I was as usual walking back from my lab after a moderate kind of accomplishment in my ‘research’….my friend who generally used to accompany me back home had decided to stay back longer in his lab…so It was just me, walking alone down the 15th street….i passed the student union on the 15th street, where some student band was practicing somewhere….an OK kind of music they were playing, and the notes were just drifting delicately with the breeze….the air was kinda pleasantly warm, with a soft breeze blowing against my face….and all of a sudden I got this rush in me…in my mind my heart…and I got this sudden bounce in my stride…I was surprised…why was I feeling suddenly so happy….without any reason….apparently…..I felt awesomely light headed…a feeling a child would get perhaps when it sees something for the first time, gets fascinated with it, and has no means or nobody to express its fascination with….the kind of excitement when the excitement has no outlet, and it just kind of grows synergically inside you…..i got something similar kind of feeling…only difference was I had seen/witnessed nothing fascinating at that moment….

I guess this kind of happiness, independent of anything/ anyone is the one that is actually known as ‘happiness’…doesn’t it just come to us?...does one really ‘need’ to pursue happ’y’ness?? Should one run behind things searching for happiness in them? Why cant we be happy just for the heck of it? …yes the happiness which can neither be created nor destroyed….the one which is within us…it just has to (re)-surface, but without the help of anything or anybody…

what a thing to write on blog!

a day spent in total useless-ness (is there a word like this?)...

homecoming.....

its one of the rarest moments of happiness in a grad student's life...:D
But today more than happiness i felt something more profound....the reason: i booked my ticket home....and from the time i booked it, the entire time when i was walking back home, i had this huge stupid grin on my face....i just couldnt help smiling with joy!!:)
going home after exactly one year....finishing my MS is something yet to be digested...this one year of MS has just swished by...if i look back...everything seems a blur now....but thats a different issue!!:D....at this moment i cant help but daydream about my being in india....getting to meet my dear mom and my sister after what seems like eons....getting to sleep in my own room(though i kinda have fallen in love with my room here too!!), all those familiar places, familiar faces...meeting friends, chatting aimlessly and for hours at our common hangouts...(though i doubt if that would be possible as all of them have gone to different places!).....
i dont know, what feeling is this...its this pure joy of going back, but still, at the back of my mind, i have this small voice saying how much im gonna miss this place...miss the university, miss my lab, miss all my friends here, miss the calm of the evening which i had come to love about troy, miss taking midnight walks on the streets with friends, miss eating at Pizza Bella(yes, i will miss that, but NOT the pizza for sure!!!) AND miss Frear Park and the associated memories:)....i wonder sometimes that happiness can never be quite 'absolute'...with it, it always brings some kind of pain.....
But yes, the thought of meeting my family again is helping me get through this week before i fly home!!!
it sure is a 'homecoming' from 'home'....

may their souls rest in peace....

There is always a stimulus to any action...some reason behind any action,reaction or behaviour...i wonder, what could the stimulus be which leads to the killing of innocent people?? can something drive a person to such limits?? just thinking what human beings are capable of doing gives me the chills and a sinking feeling that im a part of this human race....

shoppers' stop...:D

i was never quite the typical kind of girl who loves shopping..but for the past 2 days i dont know wots got into me....i just feel like going to crossgates everyday to shop till i drop...not that i want to or need any particular thing as such, but just for the heck of it...
i have also realised that shopping does pep u up when u r feeling down...i suddenly got a boost out of nowhere when a few days back i did a bit of shopping when i was feeling depressed!!strange it is:)
nyways i really dont know why and what exactly im writing about, n that too at 4 am..i guess im acting a psycho....nyways il stop before i start blabering on something else......[sigh] [sigh]..should soon think of a sensible topic to blog on!!!

:)

29th march 2007....
Finally!!! finally got what i wanted the most!! i felt so lightheaded..dont know how to express it, but it was a different feeling!!!!
some things i guess are just meant to be!:)..

I have a dream...

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream


I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

-Westlife

'The' snowstorm...

Im at loss of words to describe it.....
'AWESOME' would be an understatement.....:):)

The blues.....

I remember the last get together with Pranati and Snita, back in pune, few days before we were to leave for MS….dat day Pranati had said something, jyacha importance I got to know in these few days….she had said dat while doing MS svatala motivated thevna is the most important thing(keeping urself motivated enuf is the most important thing)…..so very true this is…..I realized this when nothing around me was working the way I would have liked it to work…..nothing seemed right; everything, I felt was going down in dumps…my work, my rapport with people, my self confidence…everything….i didn’t feel like doing any work, didn’t feel like talking to my friends or family…i had come to believe that I was the most unfortunate person in the whole world…..had even questioned my decision of coming here and doing MS….felt as if I should have joined IBM after BE, had lived a comparatively normal life…as compared to the craziness out here (which incidently I do enjoy when im not feeling blue)……those few weeks of blue state of mind in fact taught me a great deal about dealing with things…and the most important is that, if u have to survive, no matter how bad things are for u, no matter how much the circumstances are against you, you need to keep yourself self motivated…..these things should not bog one down……I have learnt that in the face of problems, I need to ‘face’ them, talk them out….instead of keeping them to myself……
Chala pure zhali philosophy....ata im back to my crazy 'non-blue' state of mind...

Before wrapping up....

We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.


wah wah!!

The first snow....

Well its bin almost a month since its bin snowing out here...but then every time it snows I always feel that im seeing it snow for the first time(not that i was walking around blind folded the previous time...). Ithe alyapasun, one American trait i follow, n that is to check the forecast the first thing i get up in the morning(or afternoon/or night...wotever)...coming back to the point, my day really kickstarts if i see "snow flurries expected"/"slight chance of snow" announcement......which means that 90% of the times it'd be snowing....pretty accurate this forecast thingy is out here!! So yes, as i was saying, snow really excites me...turns me on, one can add innocently;)...I love the way everything turns a very high quality, pure white when it snows.....simply love to walk through the snow(though its quite a pain for the muscles), love the crunchy noise the snow boots make against the thick layer n simply relish the taste of snow...believe me iv actually eaten fresh snow off railings (makes me sounds crazy...but im not:D)....it tastes nice and mildly sweet and yea, it "melts in the mouth"...:DThe RPI campus looks even more beautiful when its all white.....especially, the snow covered lawns, bare trees, deserted and beautifully and brightly lit (God only knows how much money is spent on the unecessary 'roshnai') campus....no words to describe itMe india madhe astanahi snow pahila hota, when i had gone for the Manali trek, n i love to do maaz about this fact:)...but had never seen the snow 'fall' before.....it looks so fairylandish believe me!!...and one fascinating new thing i learnt about the flurries is that the star shape which they mostly show in cartoons n kids'- books while depicting snow, is actually how a snow flurry looks when observed closely...me try suddha kela mazhya Chocolate(dats my cell between;) chya cam var capture karayla to flurry cha shape....ok sorts ala pic! ...(sorry non-marathi people, for frequent outbursts in marathi!!!)I always find some reason to go out and take a walk when it is actually snowing.....(once i remember i attended an early morning 10 am lecture just because it was snowing outside and i wanted to walk in the snow)...snow and water still (i meant waterfalls, beaches, water sports) remain the only 2 things that makes the child in me come alive and kicking:)...Hope this wasnt true, but yes, snow will always be my first love....

Parat Random....

I had only heard my labmates sing songs of praise for him..my advisor, prof Saulnier that is....but yesterday i did myself join his fan club:)....more praise for him to fill this space in the days to come....

A home away from home......

Well was quite wondering wot ppl write in blogs...n more than that, wondering what i should write in my blog.....my opinions??my thoughts??about me??about the society??[:o]...hehe....well confusion at its best!!.....
well let me write something about my thoughts after changing base from India to the land of Uncle Sam.....this topic might seem cliched but hey...!!!who cares??!!
hmmm....well US was nothing like what i had imagined until i visited the NYC a few weeks back....for starters, my university being located in what i call a virtual village (a.k.a TROY), i hardly saw any people for the first 3-4 months i was here.....first thing dat struck me (other than clean roads, racing cars on these empty roads, n ofcourse the out of phase driving as compared to back home...)...was that nearly every person passing u will smile at u and agar uska mood accha hua to "hey howya doin" to sunnne ko milega hi milega....well, i thought this thing really hard to digest...i still wonder, why the hell would one care for a stranger passing by!!!...i sometimes still return a glum, do-i-know-you kind of look if ny unknown person smiles at me or wishes me!!but yea, to sum up i really liked the place at first sight.....
the first month of 100% independence was awesome....i mean t'was really awesome....rite from living alone for the first time (n believe me its a great feeling!!!), , to managing your house (read cooking!!), to exploring the campus, to getting lost while trying to find the way to the union from the academy hall(which is like 2 blocks away)..:D....then making new friends, spending time with them n getting to know new people....though im not a very social kind of person, i noetheless enjoyed this a great deal...still do.....
then there was always this chatting with old friends for hours on end.....i mean now if i look back...cant imagine how much time i mustve spent chatting with family and friends back home for the first month....
I still vividly remember my first few days after coming here....the first day after we came to RPI....i remember Rujuta had showed me around the campus...n man, i was so intimidated by nearly everything around me.....howmuchever trivial the things were.....i remember i was fascinated by almost everything i saw around me...:D
well now its bin almost 6 months now, n feels like Iv come a long way[:D](too philosophical it may sound:))....but yes, iv learnt quite a few new things....n i realise with every passing second that there is so much more to learn.
Hmm...well i guess with no particular topic in mind im just blaberring away...so better wind up, n write about something more specific in my next blog!!

the beginning....

hmmm...well i never quit understood the charm of blogging...still dont...but then i have this philosophy in life...every new thing i HAVE to try it atleast once....there should be no regrets later in life that i didnt try a particular thing....well this is the reason i decided on giving blogging a shot....:D