of half written posts

A compilation of some unfinished, half written posts is as follows:

Finished 2 states in (almost) one sitting through the night. Ah, feels like old times :)
As much as i hate to admit that my reading habits are so down the drain over the past 2-3 years, it is the truth. I miss those times in India...the COEP days, when i used to start readin a book at night and continue over the next day without sleeping, till i finished it. I would harldy care if i missed the lectures (they were useless anyways), and neither would the professors. It felt good yesterday, to be reading and actually finishing a book. These days im ever guilty of starting a book and never finishing it. I absolutely hate it that i have lost that habit of mine. But i guess this is what graduate education , a demanding (?) job and laziness (on my side) does to reading habits. Now about the book. Apart from One night at call center, I have read the remaining of Bhagat's books, and I do enjoy them immensely. I like the fact that the language is not too literature-ish, making it easy to identify with the way we talk among friends or family. Very few books do that with the writing stlye. Though all his books, I find too predictable, they still keep me glued to the very end. 2 states was predictable, but very entertaining, and yet imparting pearls of wisdom here and there. Statistics say that every other couple in India have to face problems from the families when it comes to chosing their mate. The important thing is to be strong in such situations and stand by each other, stand by your decision. Though me and S did not face any strong opposition from our families, I realised that if they had a problem, this could very well be our story. not North and south, but may be East and West, with the cultural differences as wide as they can be.

The never ending confusion, of whether to buy something or not. I have been eyeing a lens for my camera, ever since it was released sometime in May. Its this super lens which takes wide angle pictures. One of the latest additions in the Nikon lens family. Back in May, it was priced around 900 bucks. Which is almost as much as the camera costed me 2 years back :| .
I decided to play the wait and watch game, hoping it would get affordable by thanksgiving. Thanksgiving has come and gone, with my wallet a tad lighter (with some other shopping i did!! ...well im allowed right, im going to india.!!) and still no lens. Now, priced at 789 bucks, the confusion of whether to invest in it has grown synergically. Still very very pricey. And im not sure whether I will be able to exploit it to its full capacity. How will i get the value for my money? I dont make any money from the pics. So the only thing, is satisfaction of using it. In terms of handling, and an improved quality images. I have decided to give myself a few more days, with the hope of reducing the confusion and coming to a decision: To buy, or not to buy.

Many things happening otherwise too. I got a burden off my head. Initiated a couple of changes in my career (cant call it a career...but something along those lines ;)). More on this later when things become clearer. Hopefully, this change will be for the better! Changes. They say that they are good for you. Its true, they are necessary. But I do sometimes identify with what Amitabh bacchan said in that movie he did... "mujhe parivartan pasand nahi..." ... I feel like saying the same thing sometimes!! Only sometimes :)

Cant wait for the christmas vacation, and im off to CA! (yes, again) Howmuchever fun work at office has been, it will be a welcome break. I have been travelling to CA so frequently now, that my group mates have started pulling my leg over it!! So, do you know the route to CA yet?! The airlines will be thankful...you are responsible for half their revenue...and stuff like that.. hee hee

Thats it for now!! hoping to find motivation to write more often, and on better topics!

Ekla Chalo

This is one of those few times when I hear a song and get so hooked to it, that i will be listening for days and weeks, whole day long, till i actually get bored of it. Few days back, i had attended the MIT diwali party with some friends. The company and dinner was awesome, but the performances put up by them were only mediocre. The only good thing that came out of sitting through those performances, was that i came across this song: "ekla chalo re" from Bose-The forgotten hero. Now many might know it already, but I did not, and loved it the moment I heard it. Sonu Nigam, who has sung the hindi version, proved once again that he is the best! I actually got goosebumps while listening to that song. After a lot of searching, I was finally able to download the song (its apparently not on youtube), and it took a few seconds for it to travel to my ipod. And from that time, I have been abusing the poor song like anything. The moment i wake up, I will put it on my laptop, in a loop. I will put it in a loop while im driving. and will be listening to it for most part of the day on my ipod, at work. No matter where I go for rest of the day, I will have it blaring in my ears 70% of the day.
After 3 weeks of ekla chalo-ing, im finally bored of the song!
But that does not change the fact that its a super song. With super lyrics (written by Tagore). A little bit of research told me that its one of the songs of "Rabindra Sangeet" canon. The original song is in Bengali, but following is the English translation of the song (from Wiki):

If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou of evil luck,
open thy mind and speak out alone.

If they turn away, and desert you when crossing the wilderness,
O thou of evil luck,
trample the thorns under thy tread,
and along the blood-lined track travel alone.

If they do not hold up the light when the night is troubled with storm,
O thou of evil luck,
with the thunder flame of pain ignite thy own heart
and let it burn alone.

fishville!

As if farmville was not a sufficient enough timepass on facebook, They have introduced "Fishville"!! I mean..c'mon!!
Aso.

just like that

Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can't see the pain someone feels.

a tag

A tag I picked up from ketki's blog. I have really got nothing better to do on a friday evening.. and I dont really feel like writing a post, and my blog has been barren for quite a while.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
6 am . Seriously!

2. How do you like your steak?
hmm..Lets see..raw, covered with a mixture of honey, yogurt, turmeric and garnished with some nuts, chopped apples and bananas. Well, im not going to eat it anyways, so who cares how it is! :P

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
The proposal.

4. What is your favorite TV show?
Friends. Thats the only thing on TV i know/watch

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
I dont really care, as long as i have the people i want around me.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
Cereals. my staple diet.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Indian.

8. What foods do you dislike?
I generally avoid cauliflower n brocolli. Though i wont kill the person if he stuffs it down my mouth!

9. Favorite Place to Eat.
mom-cooked food. Actually, any restaurant in india.

10. Favorite dressing?
none...I hate salads and all the healthy food ;)

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
a battered Nissan sentra.

12. What are your favorite clothes?
Anything comfortable.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
You mean at this moment? Well if i had the chance, id book my ticket home!

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
This is a difficult question. (maybe a dedicated post on this later? Please DO hold your breath!)

15. Where would you want to retire?
haseen vadiyon me ;D

16. Favorite time of day?
Mornings, during weekends. Night time during the week, when i have to hit the sack!

17. Where were you born?
I guess in some hospital ka operation theater. Where else are people born? :|

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Cricket

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
Pata nahi yaar

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
How does that matter yaar

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
pata nahi koi response ayega bhi ya nahi

22. Bird watcher?
Nope!

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
I have been both, with equal expertise!

24. Do you have any pets?
Naah..

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
Not on this post. If you are curious, you can always call me :P

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
A scientist

27. What is your best childhood memory?
who says im done with my childhood?

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
im just a person, bhaiyya.

29. Are you married?
No

30. Always wear your seat belt ?
YES!

31. Been in a car accident?
NO.

32. Any pet peeves?
water spilled on the floor, kitchen top, or aywhere where its not supposed to be!

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
kyun, are you planning to cook a pizza for me, if i tell you/?

34. Favorite Flower?
all are nice.

35. Favorite ice cream?
chocolate

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
All the ones in india...here, maybe chinese take outs?

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
I failed my written test once :-o

38. From whom did you get your last email?
Oh, this guy at work. email contents are confidential ;)

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Apple store!

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
yea, bought a ticket to san jose...just like that!

41. Like your job?
Yes, on 90% of the days

42. Broccoli?
what about it?

43. What was your favorite vacation?
to name a few: Dapoli one with family, SFO one.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
A group of friends..bacholorette party of a friend.

45. What are you listening to right now?
The sound of the keys on keyboard as I type this.

46. What is your favorite color?
Blue, yellow

47. How many tattoos do you have?
none

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?
Everyone who has nothing better to do in life, like me

49. What time did you finish this quiz?
5 mins after i sarted it

50. Coffee Drinker?
addicted.

Change, they say !!

Change. Its easier said than done, isnt it? For me it is.
So, I have been quite happy with the almost uneventful state of my life for the past 2 years. By that I mean, once i got a job i really enjoyed doing, all i had to do was work, come home, read/cook/go out/etc, sleep and wake up to the the same thing all over again. I did not get bored doing it. I was relieved that life was finally what i call a bit stable, to the point of being boring, after the roller coaster ride it had been upto that point. When I came here, in a foreign land to study, I used to think I was doing such a courageous thing, living alone, being away from my family for the first time, taking care of myself, all on my own. But I realised this a few days back, that it was probably the easiest thing I have ever done. Staying alone. No one to take care of except yourself, making decisions that are least affected by other people's opinions or least connected to other people's lives. I didnt have to think twice if I wanted to take up a job in say Alaska. All I had to do was pack my bags and get going.
I do see a LOT of major changes in my life over the span of next 2-3 years, and the thought of these changes were freaking me outover the past few days, still is, to some extent. I am slowly approaching an age at which you are expected to "settle down" in life. You know, get married, start a family, start saving and those kind of grown up things. No, no im not getting married in the near future, for all the people who are at the edge of their seats with curiosity and holding their breath. But also, I cannot deny the fact, that vo din ab door nahi, when I'd be facing all these things. It was just few days back that I realised that it is going to be the hardest thing I'd ever do. It doesnt matter if your life partner is your best friend or a stranger you have met for about few hours. It just doesnt make any difference. It does not make a difference whether you really love that person, accept that person as he is, or someone you have met for a few hours, a few days perhaps before you were to decide whether that person is the one you want to live with the rest of your life. All that matters is there is going to be another person in your life, who will get attached to all your decisions, and the same applies for him too. Its just the way it is. You wouldnt call it a union or a marriage otherwise. Anyways, the thought of having to leave my comfort zone, has been making me restless. Why to take the plunge then, some would say. Thats because I want to, and just not taking the plunge for the fear of change is stupidity. I know worrying about these thing is senseless, because things always turn out the way we had never thought of. But still....

On an entirely different note: hats off to the people who have gotten married. I sincerely feel thats a very brave thing you have done. I mean, welcoming a person to be a part of your own family, thinking of him NOT in terms of perfect/imperfect, right/wrong, but just as someone who is now a part of you family. That takes some effort.

three down, how many to go!?

Though this post is a few months late in appearing on the blog, I had written it at almost the right time. I shall still post it.

Just realised that its been exactly 3 years of my being in Amrika. august 1st 2006 was the day Neha set her first footsteps on the Amrikan soil. No, there is nothing great about it, as everyday, countless such people as me come and go from this country. but somehow i thought this was worth thinking about (if not worth mentioning). the time a foreign land was my home. and yes, at home i did feel.
did these 2 years "just fly by" or did the time take its own sweet time to chug by? well, for me, it has been a mixture of both. but come to think of it, i dont really remember now, me ever thinking time is going too slowly. i guess most part of these 3 have been quite eventful, mostly marked by good events and of course to average them out, a few bad ones too. i often feel i have experienced all the feelings a person should experience in his/her lifetime. Be it the awe of being so far away from home for the first time in life, the relief of feeling at home in this land, yet the occasional pangs of being away from 'my' land. the feeling of experiencing the first snow, the sheer beauty and purity of it, seeing the fall colours, i mean i never knew there were these awesome hues outside paintings. Then being with friends, the night outs, studying at night, sleeping at 4 in the mornings, waking up at 10, and then sleeping during the 10 am lecture. (ok, i admit, who am i kidding, i used to bunk most of the 10 am lectures...habits die hard;-)). cooking together, never knew cooking can actually be fun. going to career fairs to collect the freebies.
the exams. the movie sessions. walks in the campus. pizza bella. snow fights. placements. going to career fair hoping to make an impression. interviews. the sinking feeling that i would never get a job i could actually like. That horrible 'inferiority complex' that conquers me so easily. then a sliver of hope. the terrified me during the day long technical interview. wanting something i like so badly. i actually prayed to god. then the nerve cracking wait. OK, im not that worthless after all. someone wants me.
then the 'phew' feeling. being bit by the shopping bug. summer. bliss. love. thesis. again, sleepless nights. buying the india ticket. Home.
The work culture. Being in awe of such awesome and genius people. And being fortunate enough to work with them, learn with them. Troy-sickness. Settling into the 9-5 routine. Realising its not that bad and monotonous as everyone said it would be! Enjoying work. Getting paid. Travelling. Car woes (this has been an integral part of my life here and worth a mention!!). The horrible economic low (yes, it does set a gloomy mood around you). Another trip home. Realising it by the passing day the need and the want to go back home.
Well, I could go on and on, but I have kind of started getting the feeling that this post is slowing (or rapidly) turning boring. So I shall stop!

FlOrIdAAAA!!

Florida, here I come! yahooo!! With the long weekend in sight, I cant help but get excited about visiting Florida. Well, I am a little bit worried about the hurricane warning during the weekend, but then I have been told that these warning are never accurate. So, keeping my fingers crossed. Assuming my vacation doesnt get drenched by rain and horrible weather, I am looking forward to relaxing and having some fun!
I will mostly be staying somewhere near Miami, and dont plan to travel a lot once im there ;-) . I just plan to park myself at nearby beaches and laze around. So, if anyone has been to florida (specifically in and around Miami) before, suggestions are welcome!
I know this doesnt qualify as a decent post, but its still better than the twits I have been posting for the past month here! I promise myself to start writing and updating my blog regularly once im back from my vacation.

Someone!! Please stop me from watching Rakhi ka Swayamvar!!!

Few hours ago, all I wanted to do was write about the insensitive remarks the health minister has been making with regards to the H1N1 virus spread in India. But all I want to do now, is pray for the well being of my family back in Pune. I dont really have words to write anything more. I am terrified, to say the least.

my Nightlife is gone!!

What happened to my Nightlife blog template (that is the name of the template I had downloaded from the internet few months back)!!?? One fine day it just disappeared and was replaced by weird notices saying that the template has been inactive for 90 days! Well , it was about time that i changed it. I mean, 'nightlife!'...that is so opposite of what my life is right now!! It would have been more apt during my grad days when I actually had a rocking "nightlife"!! Anyways, So here's presenting you with a simpler template. :-)

V is for..

I dont quite understand why people show the victory sign while posing for random photographs?!

Sure, if you win something, then it makes sense, but why otherwise?!

rant

Had made a mental note to myself that I would attempt a travel-log of my trip to SFO and Big Sur. But I know thats not gonna happen.
Though there is something that I need to write down for my own memory, and future reference:

*start of rant*
We had booked into the Hilton for the 4th July night in SFO. And had got a pretty cheap deal for it too. I was obviously impressed with the Hotel, its hugh swimming pool, interior, the rooms and the super comfy pillows (I almost smuggled one out, but then the thought of the Hilton security handcuffing me and turning me over to the police made me rethink a little bit). Everything went fine till the next morning when we went for what I thought was a complimentary breakfast. 80% of the hotels have a complimentary breakfast for their guests and I thought Hilton was no exception. It said so on their website too. So a ravished me, stocked up on fresh fruit, cereals, oatmeal, cake and whatever my tummy could hold that morning. All happy and well fed, we went over to check out and saw a charge of 75 bucks as breakfast charge for the two of us. And I was like Holy cow!! did we just eat a 30 bucks breakfast when there were a number of cheap options nearby (hell, there was a starbucks inside the Hilton!)?!! Anyways, my 20 minute yelling on the checkout lady didnt help, and had to pay for our breakfast. I did tell the lady at the end of my 20 minute session to mention these things clearly on websites and stop fooling people, ripping them off with all these hidden costs and that I would be posting a very very bad review about them online. (maybe I wont put the review but would never go there again :|)
So the charges of our breakfast and 45 $ parking (one day) turned out to be almost as much as what we paid for the room in the first place! Other than this nasty incident ( well, for me it was nasty, coz i really get pissed when my money goes waste in unnecessary things, like buying a 2$ water bottle at the airport every time just because they dont allow bottles past security. They even threw away my empty bottle at the security!), I had a wonderful long weekend.

*end of rant*

.....

...
Maybe, its just a passing pang of trepidation...Maybe, afterall life is not that difficult to figure out? Maybe, there is nothing to figure out...Maybe...
...

Sun's journey northwards..

Just finished watching marathi movie Uttarayan. In one word, hats off!! and a big *applause* Its been many days since I had seen any good movie (hindi, english or marathi) and this movie definitely put an end to that dry spell.. Literally too...cried buckets during the movie.
You just need a few good actors, a good script and some good dialogues to make a movie. Really.

this n that...

Its been so long since I have said TGIF! :( Fridays are generally the worst...with lots and lots of work to do, and a promise of having to work over the weekend too. grrrrr. Its also been so long that I have actually dreaded mondays. Seriously. For the past few months, there has been no difference in the week and the weekend! (except for my short getaway to the west coast).
Anywys, no more rants, coz seriously im not complaining ;) I am lucky to be loaded with work, and im having fun!

Few weekends back I saw Curious Case of Benjamin button. I liked the concept and the way they have put it up in the movie. But the movie was just too long for me to like it. I mean you can sit through a 3 hour long bollywood movie and not feel a thing, not feel the burden on yourself, but if english movies exceed the 2 hour threshold, I feel the need to go out in the open, refresh myself before I can continue!!

These days, engagement announcements and getting wedding invites in the mail has become an everyday thing. I dont know why I still get surprised when any of my batchmates and seniors announce that they are getting married. I always feel its just so soon, when I very well know its not! Im still to recover from the shock of one of my best friend's wedding, who got married 2 years back :| . I think she does read my blog and I also think she knows im talking about her! :P

I never wrote about my CA trip. But I hate to write travel-logs. One thing that I feel worth mentioning though is, I fell in love with San Jose. I was staying there at a friend's place, and could actually see Analog Devices from his room's window! No, no, I dont have any special affection for AD or for anyone working there, but just the fact that there are SO many countless companies in SJ, that it amazes me. It is rightly called the Silicon Valley.
It was also the very first time that I ate hummus! (Dont I write the most earth shattering and globally important things on my blog!?) I know, scoff at me if you like, but I never knew there was a thing called 'hummus' before. Maybe I should do something about my pathetic knowledge about food, and what goes into the making of it. But yes, I liked it, and bought a jar full of it the next time I went groceries here. I also read up about it, and its supposed to be pretty healthy! (as if i care ;))

I cant believe I haven't been a Coldplay fan till now. Thats probably because I was never "into" music as such till a few years back. And I used to scoff my friend A(who worships coldplay literally) saying that I dont like rock n pop music. How wrong was I!! Awesome songs, great lyrics and super music. Really hooked to coldplay, U2 and the Killers for the past year. Love them all.
There is one more thing I want to add in my to-do list...go to a concert. I have NEVER been to a concert before. seriously! My sister tries to drag me to these savai gandharva concerts she goes every time, but then, classical music is so soothing that I inevitably doze off, and hence I avoid going!

Evening walks have started becoming an everyday routine for me. And I dont intend to change it. They are really therapeutic especially during the weekdays. All the day's stress and the tired eyes from sitting in front of the computer are soothed the second I step out in the open... Cool breeze caressing my face, trees swaying to the breezy tunes and Shaan crooning bhool ja from my ipod in my ears...ahh! bliss! isnt it?!

The weekend that was!

Cruising at 50 mph, unending expanse of deep blue lake in front of you, cool breeze beating against your face, hair flying everywhere, eyes watering, adrenaline pumping..bliss!!!

ghoomna firna

The long weekend (though I did have to look up what the holiday was for!) is round the corner! Its really gonna be like an oasis in the desert. It was just yesterday that I actually started feeling the excitement of my trip to California. Not that this is my first trip to the land of sun and sand, but its going to be my first to Yosemite and Lake Tahoe! yay!! So, the excitement setting in, I went off for a round of shopping after work yesterday. I was in bad need of some comfy clothes, and have been planning on shopping for almost 2 months, but never found the time or enthusiasm to do so (I am not counting in a small bit of shopping I did in NY last weekend ;-) ). Pretty happy with my purchase yesterday, though all I bought was a smart black t-shirt and shorts, which I will need while hiking at Yosemite. Now the only thing left to be done is packing my bags, and before that, doing laundry that has accumulated over the ages!!

*phew* is all I can say :-)

C.L.I.C.K.

This month is my and my sweetheart's one year anniversary. It was in May last year that i purchased it, with the tax refund i had got. One of the purchases I have actually been proud of, and not once regreted. I will not spend this post singing praises of my Nikon-D80 (Though it is not the BEST of the SLRs they have in market, its still a pretty good one, and my 'dil ka tukda' in the real sense), but will try to put forward some of the things i learnt about photography in the past year. Let me say that this is not a technical post, nor am I qualified enough to write about the technicalities of photography, but will put my point of view of photography, and how i see it. This is not about SLRs and cameras, but the magic they weave.

• There is one thing that changed entirely, the way I look at photography. It was an article I read by Ken Rockwell (who is my self appointed guru, when it comes to photography). The article said that the photograph should take you to your sweetest memory, or any memory for that matter. It should arouse some emotion in you. It should take you back to some place, to some time, to some phase in your life. I guess, every form of art should do that, and does. A particular song reminds you of something, someone, some incident. Like Himesh bhai's songs remind you of that time in India, when the electricity would be cut off and the dogs in the neighborhood would collectively start howling till it came back. A good painting of say a sunset will remind you of a particular sunset which you have imprinted in your mind. Likewise, in photography its very difficult to achieve this (as per the article) and a very few people can actually paint such a photograph with their camera. Good photos, everyone can take, but there are very few masterpieces. I was so very motivated when i read this. I hope atleast once, I can take a photograph that would arouse some emotion in atleast one living soul.

• Photography is very little engineering and maximum ART (Again, something i learnt from guruji, and kind of agree with). True, If you have a high end camera, you must know how it works, what are the different controls. Whats the use of a good camera if you cant exploit all that it provides? But all said and done, I have seen people take awesome snaps with their cell phone cameras. Some better than the ones taken by SLRs.

• One of the most important things while taking a photo according to me is its framing. How big the object is, how is the plane of the picture divided, how much sky you have (Snita would know, coz i bugged her a lot recently to take my snap with the right amount of sky), how much empty ground you have. A photo divided exactly at the center, with half part sky and half of it land would rarely look effective. Likewise, the size of the main object shouldnt be too small (otherwise it would not catch attention) or too large (there should be a conversation between the object and its surroundings). Making use of depth of field to create 'depth layers' in the photograph, so that your attention is eventually guided to the point of focus by the way the space of the frame is divided. This is probably the easiest way to ensure that the picture looks good, and you dont need an SLR for that!

• The lighting. I feel, this is where the SLR comes handy as opposed to a point and shoot. You can control the exposure. The amount of light you want to have for a particular setting. And there are so many combinations of the aperture, shutter speed and ISO one can use to get the desired light and the effect. Of course you can always post process it to some extent using picasa, photoshop etc.

• The photograph should have a rythm. A motion. Even if its a snap of just trees and mountains, there should be a kind of rythm in the lines. (by lines, i mean the main lines that divide the frame). This is kind of similar to the above point.

• You really have to look around you, keep your eyes open, for sights that you can capture with your camera. If there is nothing around you that looks good to your eye, even the best of photographer cannot take an effective snap. Photography is not about making boring objects look good in photos, its about making interesting objects look the way they appear to your eyes. I personally feel, that our eyes are the best cameras. (And this is technically true too, i think). I guess all the cameras are designed to meet the specifications of the way the eye sees a particular object.

• Last but not the least, best way to take good pictures is to enjoy doing it!! Take pictures because you love doing it, and not because you want to create masterpieces.

Heres wishing my Nikon a happy anniversary! My life has been much more productive, creative and informative with you around! cheers :)

Slap in the face!

I am tweaking the incidence a little bit, to protect the identity of the person.
So, a few days ago, a friend (well someone i knew from india, and we had kind of drifted apart) of mine saw me after a long long time, and said something spontaneously.."gosh! you look so beautiful now". I couldnt help but feel mildly annoyed and also pretty amused at this comment (how much ever true or otherwise it may be). I know he/she meant well, and was giving me a compliment, but common, i would have been better off without that "now" in the compliment :| . You dont really have to speak everything you have in your mind do you!

Its just one of those things when you are unsure whether to really feel pleased about the compliment!

blog makeover

This makeover is a result of me being a friday-night-no-life-person! What a thing to do on a friday night!! gosh, I miss my grad days.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

You really don't have to look far when the time comes to finding inspiration. Just look around at your friends and family, and you will find loads of inspiration to better yourself. I know I know, the motivation should come from within yourself, and who would know that better than me, the proponent of Ayn Rand philosophies. But even then, for a person like me, additional triggers are necessary than what me, myself has to offer me. And such trigger I got yesterday, after talking to a dear friend. Let me take this opportunity (though i did tell you this over the phone) in saying again, that I am so very proud of you. Really. Now, I know you don't read blogs, and even if you did, I dont think you'd know i was talking about you. But its people like these and many more, who personify determination and perseverance, both of which i lack in great quantities. And its people like these who really push me to better myself. So, all you dear and crazy friends, unknowingly, you are helping me become a better person. Hats off to you guys!!

My desk is happy :)

Something unusual happened at work today...I cleaned my cabin !(Well recently my cabin had started looking like the remnants of a disaster prone area, struck by a tornado)!! yay!! and a pat on by back. What triggered this drastic action was one of the ASIC guys coming over to my desk to talk about something, giving a huge sigh and saying "you firmware guys have real untidy desks!". Now, this is not the first time someone has commented on my desk, but then generalizing all my group mates desks based on mine?!!I wasnt gonna let that happen, was I ? (Though I do admit we firmware guys do have a lot of stuff on our desk! But cant help it right?) So i spent almost an hour tidying my desk. Threw redundant printouts of code, datasheets, trip itenaries and other documents in paper recycle bin. Filed the documents i really needed for furture use. Threw away empty juice bottles that i had arranged neatly on the rack (i call it the trash rack) in the corner. The cables, connectors, stray pins and wire clips went to their respective place. My cabin was literally piled high with hard disks, memory cards, WiFi adapters i was using in my previous projects last year. Threw the dead ones away and labelled and stacked the good ones. Arranged the books neatly on the book rack next to the files and folders. Rearraged the current electronics im working on in such a way that i have place to keep my fax machine (which currently was perched precariously on a chair I initially used for people to sit down when they came to my cabin to talk about something.). The best part about this afternoon activity is that now, im feeling great with a sense of accomplishment and I found my flash drive which was missing since... well ever since my desk has been dirty! Just thought I should document this awesome feeling! Back to work!!

Alls wrong that starts wrong?

What a way to start the work week. All I can say is that im feeling intense disappointment, anger, why-this-had-to-happen-to-me emotion and a hope that it may not be as bad as it seems. I also realized that its easier said than done to not get attached to your firsts. * sigh *

Realisations

• I am lazier than i though i was. i am postponing filling tax forms and repairing my car and getting the state inspection done for over 3 months now. (yes, that state inspection expired ages ago.)

• I have turned into a Friday night No Life person!!
  

• Work satisfaction does exist. I realised this about a year back, when i was few months old in my job. And I realise it every now and then. Re-realisation. No, my boss does not read my blog ;)

• I get easily addicted. recent addictions: coffee, working on weekends (and weekdays too ;)), watching atleast a few friends episodes everyday, chocolates (re-addiction), italian food and being a couch potato.

• Its not difficult to find time for something, if you really want to. "vel kadhava lagto!"

• For me, my first impressions of people are very rarely the last impressions.

On a completely different note, my mom gifted me the Photoshop package on my birthday, and im having a ball with it. Its awesome fun editing photos, correcting them, playing with them. And Photoshop is, infact a very neat software to do it.

Just another day?

So, I turned 25 today. Hit a quarter century in Life!! For some reason, i was feeling wierd today. A sense that its been 25 long years. Thats a LOT of time spent, since i opened my eyes to the world, and the world to me. It kind of changes the way one looks at things, dont you think? What is scary is , in such a long span of time, i have done very less things im proud of. The only respite is that i have not troubled anyone intentionally, and hopefully not given pain to anyone un intentionally. Come to think of it, my family is pretty proud of the way i have grown up to be. I have been a good friend (hopefully) and have got pretty tight friendships scattered around. Hell, even 'I' am just 'quite' ok with the life i have at the moment. BUT, I am not particulary proud of all these things. I dont know why. Its probably because everyone does the same things in life. Millions of people around the globe have good education from so called reputable institutes, have a job they really enjoy doing, get payed so that they can buy all the things that can be bought to make them supposedly "happy". Its the same story everywhere. I am doing my duties, paying taxes, voting intelligently (whenever i can) and in general, minding my own ordinary life. Living, and letting live, is possibly the best thing one can "atleast" do! I dont want to do anything very different. I dont yearn to stand apart from the crowd. In fact, im better off being camoflaged in the crowd. But I really want to do something which i can think of years later and say, "yes, that was one moment i was really happy that i came into this world. I made a difference, albeit a minuscle one".
In the next 5 years, i want to definitely do some things. Whether they are feasible or not, thats not my concern, but i want to do them. Most of them are selfish, full of indulgence. But then, arent all acts selfish?

my 5 year plan:

1) Sponser a child's education. I dont want to sound like a "social worker". But the intention is not social work. I want to do this for my own selfish reason. So that "I" can feel better. This is something i really really wanted to do sometime in life, even before i had started earning.
I believe education does great things. Not necessarily, but then most often than not! And It really sucks when you really want to do something and you dont have the means to do that. I guess I will probably respect myself more if i ever get to do this. If not in next five years, then atleast sometime.

2) Get married. Yes, I know, it will be like destroying someone's life, but then, this is the sadistic streak of me, you can say. Im not a very strong believer in the institution of marriage, but i just want to get that one thing out of the way!

3) See Europe. Not the hot spots like paris n all, but those quaint little hidden towns scattered all across europe.

4) Run a marathon. or atleast the half marathon. Now this is almost impossible, coz im not a very good runner, but probably thats the main reason i want to do it. (and yes, I am working towards this goal :D)

5) Become a pretty good photographer. Seriously. I probably have a long long way to go, but i guess in 5 years it is quite managable! Eventually, I would love to become a professional level one, but then it is said it takes 20-25 years to reach the place where the best photographers are.
erm...check out my photostream at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/56277327@N00/
aah! how i love to brag !

6) Learn pottery. I love pots, of all kinds. I was in love with them ever since i remember. And i am superbly fascinated by the potters' wheel. How something so basic and crude make something SO beautiful! It amazes me. Another thing I always wanted to do but never found the opportunity, time (and any other excuse) to learn it.

If my blog has survived the next 5 years, Il probably be able to see how much I actually accomplished. I hope I am able to tick off atleast one of these things. Seriously.
As an afterthought, I also hope the quarter life crisis doesnt strick me. :|

Bajaj Spirit

So my travel companion of almost 6 years was sold yesterday. Became paraya dhan. Someone else's amanat. Just like that. I have got so many things to say about my ex Spirit. But I have got like 5 minutes before i have to rush.... erm, to the bathroom :D

Anyways, a short list of a few observations when I first heard it was sold:
->> Its definitely going to leave a void. If not in my heart, then definitely in our garage.

->> We get so very attached to stupid material things. I mean its just a bike for chirssake!! True, had some great memories, some great rides, some very great accidents on that bike. Then treasure those memories, those rides, those accidents. But why the bike? Do we most of the times associate memories and feelings with material things, and thats why we miss the material things?

->>That Bajaj Spirit had kind of become my trademark in COEP. Neha comes with Bajaj spirit. and vice versa.

->>It rattled a LOT. I guess all spirits do , thats why probably they stopped producing them, but mine was the king of rattlers. No need for honking horns, the rattling was more than sufficient.

->>My Spirit survived 2 major accidents. What am I supposed to do if that idiot rickshaw driver takes a left turn in the rain without the indicator, and I cant pull the brakes quickly enough because im worried I will be late for reaching the boat club.

->>I have cursed my gadi a lot in the span of 6 years. I have also thanked my gadi for taking me to exams, parties, college, classes on time.

->>Im not feeling even a little bit upset on my gadi being sold.

But I have learnt not to get attached to things (well, atleast to some extent). To treasure the moments, and not the 'things'. To treasure the people, the memories, the parties, the gettogethers, the tears, the laughter and not the walls of the house. To treasure the rides and not the bike. To treasure the work, and not the company itself, treasure the knowledge acquired, the friendships developed, the times spent and not the institution itself. It is never easy to do it, but to some extent it can be done.Things and life become so much easier like this. Dont you think so?

I want to...

Go away somewhere...alone, or maybe with friends. I need a vacation. Granted i came back from a trip to india two months ago, but that doesnt exactly count as vacation does it? Most of the time you are either jet lagged, or running around meeting relatives and doing your social duties. So you are left with hardly any time for yourself. To unwind. Actually, India trips are always so hectic, that i seriously feel the need of vacation after a trip to homeland. Anywys, past two months were super hectic at work, and will continue to be for the next 5 months :| . Not that im complaining, (or i am, just a little bit :)) but i seriously need to unwind. Weekends are spent haunting the office, evenings are very short which are either spent in cooking (who am i kidding) or going to the gym (again, who am i kidding). So, in short, i want to go and get my adrenaline pumping, once again. I want to do something crazy. I havent done anything crazy in a long while. I want to sit and admire nature, read books, eat good food, have conversations other than how badly written my code is or how that hardware is acting weird when i run my stuff. uff. im tired. Its fun, I get paid to write bad code and crash the system, but nevertheless, im tired. I am tired to be the responsible good girl. Seriously. I want to go away for few days, have someone take care of me. Pamper me, spoil me.Pay my bills, take my car to the garage and cook for me.
And people say I dont have any dreams in life!

isnt it better?

Isnt it better 'sometimes', not to vent out your opinion, not to cry, not to yell, not to argue, not to discuss, not to make the other person understand, but just keep quite, cut yourself from the situation, from the world, from everyone and just hope everything will fall into place?

rant.......

urgh!! have u ever faced a catch 22 situation? the lady or the tiger kind of situation?
why cant we get the best of everything? why do we have to make difficult choices in life? is everything so simple as i thought it would be? why do we feel a particular thing is over rated once we have it? is it really worth it? but is not having it really worth it, too? im confused, scared, unsure about it. about everything!